October 17, 2004

The Uninvited Houseguest

I have mouse.

I have a creepy, crawly, scared little mouse living in my house with me and he has decided to camp out in my bedroom.

Now after the initial “Fuck me that’s a mouse!” reaction I became strangly sympathetic to the poor dirty little creature. Why? Well to begin with its harmless, it probably is just looking for food - which is funny since this bitch doesn’t even cook so there is no chance of finding any food anywhere near me unless the mouse comes along to the restaurant of choice for the evening.

More importantly it is probably more scared of me than I could ever be of him. In fact when I saw it scurry across th edge of my wall and let out my girly squeal it seemed to realize ” oh shit, i went the wrong way” and it scurried back to where it came from and i have not seen it since. So he seems to be avoiding me as much if not more than i am avoiding him.

The bigger problem is the noises. Now everytime i hear a sqeak of a door, a rustling of a paper, even a voice outside, i start looking all over the room for the little fucker. i don’t actually know whats worse, seeing it or hearing it and wondering what its doing. Speaking to my mom also did no good as her response (after squealing and screaming in my ear over the phone) was “Where there’s one, there’s ten more” which really helped my frame of mind.

But the dilemma is how to get rid of it. If i had a cat i would just figure its a battle of David and Goliath and if the little mouse is meant to exist then the cat simply won’t catch him but will merely scare him. However, I don’t have a cat…i also don’t have my dog Rocky who would be cowering in the corner with me and at the very least providing me with some emotional support. So I have to catch it and that means one of two things - I either have to use a trap that will kill it or I have to use a trap that will catch it in a “humane way”.

But either way I will be disturbed. If i kill it then i essentially have murdered a poor defenselss little creature and if i trap it i have to check the traps and deal with a creepy crawly dirty rodent!

I don’t know what to do. I am also scared to tell my roommate as he is more of a girl than I am and I think he may have a seizure if he finds out that there is a mouse in the house. And I don’t know what’s worse for my mental health - killing my roommate with the information that there is a mouse or killing the mouse myself.

what’s a cowardly girl to do?

Posted by Adrienne at October 17, 2004 05:37 AM

We have a mouse in our kitchen. We see it running in and out from under the fridge. I tried those live traps; it never goes inside, but I don't have the nerve to use lethal traps or poison.

Posted by: Kristina on October 17, 2004 11:39 AM

i don't have the nerve either...i'm torn.

Posted by: adrienne on October 17, 2004 12:48 PM

I think you should just let it be, unless it really starts to bother you. After all, where else does it have to go? It's not like there's a meadow near by.

Posted by: robyn on October 18, 2004 12:17 PM

mice deserve to live!

Posted by: michele on October 18, 2004 12:48 PM

One, I second what Michele said. Two, dead mice smell REALLY bad. I vote for trying the humane traps while it's still alive to go in them.

Posted by: Dianna on October 18, 2004 01:06 PM

he peaked his little head out again today and i literally said "do you think that's a good idea?" and he just inched backwards and crept back behind the furniture and dissapeared. bastard.

Posted by: Adrienne on October 18, 2004 01:24 PM

cute little wiggly nose bastard though.

Posted by: michele on October 18, 2004 01:58 PM

fair enough, but cute only gets you so far when you are invading my space.

Posted by: adrienne on October 18, 2004 02:24 PM

I'll keep that in mind next time I'm planning on invading your space, then.

Posted by: Dianna on October 18, 2004 03:03 PM

yeah, in ady's house if it looks like cheese, and smells like cheese? it's probably not cheese. don't take the chance that your cute little nose will go on wiggling.

this message brought to you by Mice 4 Life. (M4L [of cheese])

Posted by: michele on October 18, 2004 03:10 PM

She doesn't seem to have a problem when tall, dark, hansome, males want to invade her space, though. ;-) I guess there's a distinguishable difference between "cute" and "tall, dark, and hansome"

Posted by: Clint on October 18, 2004 03:11 PM

well my tall dark and handsome males never have tales and are usually only slightly furry.

Posted by: adrienne on October 18, 2004 03:49 PM

I was going to try to trap our mouse and release it a few blocks away, but it won't go in the trap; not for cheese, or crackers, or crackers and cheese, or even crackers and peanut butter. The only thing I found that it had nibbled into was a bag of pancake mix. I want it out b/c it's so damned picky!

Posted by: Kristina on October 18, 2004 04:24 PM

where in the hell does your mouse get off being such a diva?! mine does not seem to have a sense of entitlement...at least not yet.

Posted by: adrienne on October 18, 2004 04:49 PM

kristina, i had a mouse once which wouldn't go into the humane trap. turned out it was a rat and wouldn't even fit in the trap. have you seen this mouse to confirm its species?

ady, remember that if you make friends with the mouse now, it will later bring its brethren to gnaw through the ropes if you're ever kidnapped and tied up in a basement in soho.

Posted by: didofoot on October 20, 2004 11:57 AM

and then your fairy godmother will turn a pumpkin into a carriage for you to go tot he ball in, but only until midnight...

Posted by: Clint on October 20, 2004 04:19 PM

definitely not a rat..and i must admit part of my unwillingness to kill it is completely based on Cinderella and the little fat mouse who couldn't fit into his clothes...what was his name?

Posted by: adrienne on October 21, 2004 08:08 AM


Posted by: nuala on October 21, 2004 02:10 PM

who knew fat mice could cause so much excitement in our fair nuala?

Posted by: michele on October 21, 2004 03:05 PM

but it's gus-gus. I love him in Cinderella. Oh wait I love Cinderella in general.

Posted by: nuala on October 21, 2004 04:10 PM

right! Gus-Gus..so cute - how can anyone hurt a little Gus-Gus?

Posted by: adrienne on October 22, 2004 08:06 AM

duhhh...happy birthday!

Posted by: didofoot on October 22, 2004 08:39 AM