October 24, 2004


Clint and I have finally decided to get married.

Yes, yes i know - he’s gay, but that is so not the point right now.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and after much consideration we have decided that we just can’t take it anymore. A man has caused both of us so much pain and suffering that it has become clear that we are each other’s only salvation.

The man who has ruined our lives goes by the name of George W. Bush, some people use this silly term President when they say his name, but Clint and I simply refuse. As hard as we try to ignore it, it seems that some people may also choose to continue to let this brainless excuse for a human being run the country. Therefore we have decided to flee.

If the “President” gets re-elected Clint and I will have a big gay wedding in New York City, to which we expect everyone to attend, and then prepare for our move. Where you might ask? Well as a sincere Fuck You to the American people who vote for Bush, Clint and I will be using the beauty of my dual citizenship - we will be moving to France.

At the moment we have not decided on the specific location, Clint is all about GAY Paris, while I am pushing for a more neutral place, a little village just outside of Nice would be best, near a “big city”, just shy of Italy, a hop skip and a jump to Monte Carlo, I like some variety.

We plan on drinking lots of wine, eating lots of rich beautiful food without gaining an ounce, taking weekend trips to other countries because we can, and most importantly finding men to “spice” up the marriage.

However, we would like to stay. Marriage is eventually such a chore and the move would cause a lot of stress in what is supposed to be our honeymoon phase. So I am making a desperate plea - if you love us and want us to stay - vote for Kerry.

If you’re dumb enough to vote for Bush then consider us strangers - hateful strangers.

And if you vote for Kerry and Bush still wins, we expect you to visit.

Posted by Adrienne at October 24, 2004 08:08 AM

And for any of you who are interested, we're registered at Barney's, Saks, West Elm, and Pottery Barn. They ship internationally!!!

Posted by: Clint on October 24, 2004 09:19 AM

What a fabulous idea! Aaron and I have been wanting to move to France ever since we visted there in early 2002 (post-9/11, yet pre-"Freedom Fries"), so we might be joining you in a few short years. I don't think it's a bad idea to marry a gay man; at least you know you're not going to get much action in advance... and marrying anyone listed on IMDB is a good move no matter what.

Posted by: Kristina on October 24, 2004 09:57 AM

man, i wish i knew someone with dual citizenship that i could marry and flee this damn country with.

Posted by: michele on October 24, 2004 12:48 PM

Why get married when you can just work abroad: http://workabroad.monster.com/

Posted by: Kristina on October 24, 2004 01:26 PM

Obtaining a work visa as a American so that I can make a living in Europe is a pain and it's only temporary. If Adrienne and I waltz down the aisle it allows me the ability to work in Europe without a visa.

Posted by: Clint on October 24, 2004 02:42 PM

oops! I meant as AN American.

Posted by: Clint on October 24, 2004 02:44 PM

I'll be voting for Bush. Have fun in France.

Posted by: Global Test on October 24, 2004 04:21 PM

Of course they'll have fun living in France! La France, elle est tellement jolie et cultivee.

Posted by: Kristina on October 24, 2004 06:27 PM

All the better: perhaps she'll stay away for good.

Posted by: Global Test on October 24, 2004 07:06 PM

for good?...now now...there's no sense in making a Bush lover happy, i'll be back at some point.

Posted by: Adrienne on October 25, 2004 11:55 AM

Yeah, you really can't stay in France too long, there's just no good Mexican food there.

Posted by: Kristina on October 25, 2004 12:43 PM

Adrienne and I are going shopping for her dress after work today. Something Valentino we decided. It's going to be a very short, tasteful ceremony. I hope you'll join us if you can.

Posted by: Clint on November 3, 2004 06:33 AM

i'll be there if the dress is also very short. tastefulness is optional.

Posted by: didofoot on November 3, 2004 08:03 AM

NO FAIR! I want to be in the wedding!

Posted by: nuala on November 3, 2004 10:13 AM

maybe they can photoshop you into the pictures.

Posted by: didofoot on November 3, 2004 10:16 AM

That is so not the same....sigh

Posted by: nuala on November 3, 2004 11:16 AM

well, maybe they can photoshop you into their hearts.

Posted by: didofoot on November 3, 2004 11:21 AM

you have to come to the wedding! whatever, we'll have another one in France to make it even more official - so you can at least come to that one.

Posted by: adrienne on November 3, 2004 11:35 AM

Does anyone still have their old highschool French workbooks that I can have so I can brush up? I just put in a rush order on my passport. I wonder if I have enough suitcases to pack all of my clothes? I don't want to have to come back to pick up the rest of it.

Posted by: Clint on November 3, 2004 12:17 PM

So You Want To Flee The Country

Via Harper's.

Posted by: sean on November 3, 2004 12:54 PM

i can't believe there's an actual article...too funny.

that's the beauty of dual citizenship, no need to "flee" so much as seeing it as the right time to relocate.

i need to buy the phonetic tapes and start speaking french to myself on the subway on the way to work.

Posted by: adrienne on November 3, 2004 01:19 PM

All week I've been begging my roommates to watch the Family Guy episode where Peter gets his own country--Petoria--because it's my greatest dream to declare my body a sovereign nation. I would be a small but fair-minded country where drugs were legal, taxes were non-existent, and the national foods were burgers, chocolate, and pizza; my flag would be something really cool, like a pirate monkey or a piece of cheese, or a pirate monkey eating cheese, and the national anthem would be something with a heavy bassline and a lot of funky beats. Every Friday would be a national holiday, school and healthcare would be provided by the state, and the national passtime would be sleep.

Posted by: Renee on November 4, 2004 12:00 PM