April 07, 2004

The Most Hateful Show on TV

I feel it necessary to discuss the newest and by far the most hateful show to ever appear on national television. Prior to this discovery I truly believed Extreme Makeover was one of the meanest and most entertaining shows available. But no....Fox has surpassed ABC's right to ridicule the ugly people of America.

This new show I speak of is called The Swan. The premise is to take a handful of the ugliest, most pathetic women they can find and make them as beautiful as plastic surgery and any means besides magic and prayers will allow.

So in the beginning it is equal in hate with Extreme Makeover by broadcasting to the nation how truly ugly you happen to me, so ugly that a network decided that they have to help you look at least moderately attractive. Then they proceed to follow you through the MONTHS and MONTHS it takes to make this transformation happen, thereby showing America how much pain you went through to be beautiful...or in the majority of cases...less ugly.

Now The Swan goes one step further and pushes the hateful factor so far that I truly must applaud them. After they have taken these women through months and months of plastic surgery - and not once allowing them to look at themselves in a mirror - they finally reveal the finished product to the unsuspecting former ugly ladies. After the excitement, the screams, the crying, the disbelief at how much money can actully buy, Fox throws in the hate.

Now that you all THINK you're finally pretty we're going to decide which ones of you are pretty ENOUGH to particpate in a beauty contest. Now that we have boosted your self esteem to levels of shallowness you never thought possible, we're going to destroy any ounce of self confidence you have on national tv by eliminating the women who still aren't up to standards after complete facial reconstruction, liposuction, tummy tucks, butt lift, boob jobs and God knows what else.

This my friends is true hate at work and I cannot wait to watch and sit with my mouth agape in horror at the pains these poor women have to go through to possibly be accepted by tv standards. It premieres tonight on Fox at 9pm after another wonderful hateful show American Idol with Mr. Hate himself, Simon Cowell (whom I also cannot get enough of...i think its the smirk). I will be tuning in to participate in the hate...cause quite frankly I just can't resist. Judge me all you want, i don't care.

Posted by Adrienne at 11:15 AM

April 02, 2004

Silencing my inner rich girl...for now

I recently went on a shopping trip that has made me rethink all my shopping standards.

Now generally I refuse to go shopping unless i have money, so needless to say I no longer go shopping. I seem to have major emotional issues with having to hunt for "quality" pieces of clothing at H&M or any other cheap yet still fabulous establishment. I won't even do the sales bins at Victoria Secret's, it just feels a little low class to me.

As shallow as this sounds, I feel it in my bones that I am meant to be rich. Yet somehow there was a glitch in communication when I dropped from heaven. Although I landed in a family immersed in culture and beauty, as requested, the man upstairs seemed to have overlooked the cash factor. Perhaps he thought i was being TOO shallow.

Anyway, in my attempt to live it up in New York I often find it necessary to wear clothes other than my yoga pants and oversized flashdance like sweatshirt when going out to socialize - much to my dissapointment. After tiring of H&M escapades, realizing that even Express is out of my price range, and countless hours spent just standing outside the Valentino store on Madison Avenue, I ventured out into the truly ghetto fabulous stores.

My inner rich girl crying out for Chanel was suprisingly silenced by the $9.99 prices for rather decent, form fitting clothing. Former difficulties in finding clothes that enhance my breasts, accentuate my small waist and flatter my bootyliciousness seemed to be a complete thing of the past - apparently my figure is ghetto fabulous! And although I did not walk away with a whole new wardrobe (cause lets face it, I will never allow myself to be that tragic) I did walk away with a whole new respect and love of cheap clothing - and a new shirt!

So now I am addicted and feel the need to browse in stores whose names I can't recall, and find at least one piece of clothing per week for under $10, giving me a sense of accomplishment from living on my budget and still going on a "shopping spree" every weekend. I'm almost proud of myself.

Its the little things in life....

Posted by Adrienne at 03:16 PM